From: Maureen

To: All members of department

It's that time of year again, so I thought I'd remind you of the traditional treats of the season.

1. Christmas party

Last year's decision to abandon the traditional face-to-face departmental party in favour of a virtual celebration proved so successful that it will be repeated this year.

This year's festive-season website can be accessed at .  Once you are online, simply press the "Party" icon for admission to the departmental "Yuletide room" where you should be able to enjoy a brief burst of seasonal chat with one or more of your colleagues.

2. Christmas message

Please note the vice-chancellor's traditional Christmas message, which this year uses the theme of the three wise men as an analogy for corporate management, is also included on the above site. (This may not be accessible to those who have installed anti-viral software.) 3. Christmas cards

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This year's topical departmental card is now available for purchase from the inquiries office. It features two robins and the approved cross-cultural phrase "Season's Greetings", and shows Professor Lapping standing outside the Dorchester Hotel in London's Park Lane only three weeks before the hotel became the venue for the Times Higher Awards ceremony.

4. Christmas greetings to the vice-chancellor

Please note that following the vote at our last departmental meeting, we will not this year be sending a festive greeting, or indeed any other kind of greeting, to the vice-chancellor.

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5. Christmas vacation period

Jamie Targett, director of corporate development, has written to point out that the university will be closed this year on the morning of Christmas Day.

He trusts that "this will allow you to spend more time with your loved ones".

6. Christmas presents

My thanks to everyone in the department for the kind gift I discovered on my desk earlier today. This was most unexpected. I had no idea they made Toblerone in such large sizes.

Have a good one.

Maureen