Dear Maureen

'Credit crunch' holiday on north-east coast going well. If it wasn't for foul weather and lamentable standards of food and accommodation, British seaside resorts would be envy of the world.

Coastal walk in rain yesterday. Strategic objective (as Targett would say) was Robin Hood's Bay. Had to head back as path had fallen into the sea.

Managed to get tickets for concert by Lionel Ritchie impersonator.

Won ?5 on Trivial Pursuit machine in Las Vegas. Would have been ?10 if I'd known character played by Donna Reed in Dallas (Miss Ellie).

ÖйúAƬ

Back in the saddle on August 19th

Gordon (Professor Lapping)

PS. Tell Quintock not to fuss about grades in Clearing. No point in maintaining academic standards if we haven't any students to maintain them with.

MAUREEN WILL NOT BE HERE

Please note that I will be absent/not present/unavailable/away from the department/out of the building/all next week.

ÖйúAƬ

MEMO - CLEARING ROOMS

From this Friday all tutorial offices in the department will be used by delegates to the Third International Conference of Comparative Eugenics. Please tidy your room and clear all personal possessions (books, posters, bottles, dartboards, etc).

NB. Staff who have not completed Part 2 of Health and Safety (Medium-Sized Furniture) should not attempt to move their own desks.