ÖйúAƬ

Christmas songs are all well and good, but have you ever wished that they had more of a ÖйúAƬ theme?

No? Well, the National Union of Students clearly did. They have taken some festive classics and added a university twist. We¡¯ve selected three soon-to-be classics below.

Last Christmas
(Based on the Wham! classic)

Chorus
Last Christmas, you picked the loanbook apart
The very next day, you took DSA
This year, just like I had feared
You¡¯ve made me a bigger debtor.

Verse
You¡¯ve written a goodbye
To student funding
On which we so rely
Tell me, David
Why do you privatise me?
Is it so your friends can take over HE?

Merry Christmas, I¡¯ve packed up school I¡¯ve left it
With a note from SLC saying lifelong debt
Don¡¯t you know what a tool you¡¯ve been
Because you¡¯ve cut my course
I won¡¯t see uni again

Chorus
Last Christmas, you picked the loanbook apart
The very next day, you took DSA
This year, just like I had feared
You¡¯ve made me a bigger debtor.

?

I¡¯m Dreaming of a White Paper
(Not sung by Bing Crosby)

I¡¯m dreaming of a White Paper
Just like the one from long ago
When the fees were tripled,
Students belittled,
Now here¡¯s, a Green one from Jo Jo

I¡¯m dreaming of a White Paper
That¡¯s why I¡¯ve nightmares, you can trust
Where it pays to treat teachers unjust
And make your universities go bust

?

All I Want for Christmas
(based on the Mariah Carey hit)

I don¡¯t want a lot for Christmas,
There is just one thing I crave,
A public funded education cradle to the grave
I don¡¯t want a framework to
Raise my fees and leave me screwed

What else can I do?
Public education is through ¨C Green Paper

I don¡¯t want a lot for Christmas,
But there¡¯s one thing you should not test
And that¡¯s DLHE data telling unis who has learnt the best

You can¡¯t judge our excellence
By wages ¨C
that¡¯s not evidence

What are you trying to do?
Public education is through ¨C Green Paper

More Christmas songs from the NUS are available, with accompanying chords (so you can play them at home), at

You can also , which THE started in 2010. Some great (and not so great) puns to be enjoyed!